This week, my Franklin makeover character is pleasing personality. It was such a pleasure to identify this character.
This week, I met a cashier, pastor, nutritionist, nurse and a pharmacist who were kind, took the time to smile, asked how I was doing and made sure I was taken care of. My body became relaxed, I mirrored their smiles and felt a general sense of peace. I felt blessed and wealthy as I received and was grateful for their pleasing personalities.
I also have a pleasing personality. It is in me. I took time to sit and imagine this character that is within me and automatically a smile appeared on my face. I visited a friend in the hospital and I sat with her with my pleasing personality and she experienced joy and peace and she was loved.
I can’t wait for next week where I recognize, relate, assimilate and apply seeing God in others.
It’s already been a week since I came back from the 2-day silent retreat. I needed some time to process my disappointment. I was expecting that I would come away from this retreat as a brand new person, at least with some new understanding of myself but I did not, or so I thought.
I did not know what was happening underneath the surface but something was happening.
I did the third self-assessment a few days earlier and it showed that I only improved by 1 point. The difference between my first and second was 7, which was great but from November to March the difference was only 1. Why? Another disappointment. What was going on?
This is my analyses. I think when I first began, I was on a high learning curve, I wanted to do my best and I mustered up enthusiasm and sheer effort and I changed. That was great. But, after a few months, the enthusiasm dwindled. I did the work but with hardly any emotions.
After I came back from the silent retreat I realized that about 8 years ago, I subconsciously decided that emotions were not worth having. Just thinking logically through things, without emotions was less painful and less draining, so I thought. Emotions caused lots of pain and problems in my past and I did not want them to express themselves. I thought if I could contain my emotions, I would be safe. That might be true to a certain degree but I realized that by stuffing the anger, fear, sadness, frustration, grief and the disappointments, it took away the joy, passion, excitement, gratefulness, delight and the fun of life as well. I wasn’t trying to master my emotions, I was burying them.
I think I am getting it. Thought plus feelings make a belief which leads to action then the result comes. Feelings are so important. It was the missing link. I say my DMP with enthusiasm. I sit and feel the gratefulness as I write the things I am thankful for. I am the master of my emotions. My emotions fuel my thoughts to create beliefs to create wealth and prosperity. I am the master of my emotions.
“I am a master of my emotions.”
I confess that my emotions have been my master in the past. If I woke up feeling self-pity and unworthiness, I would start my morning as such and sometimes stayed in bed and wasted half of my day. Other times, I wake up feeling energized, especially if the sky was blue and the sun was shining and would get all the things I needed to do in half the day. In the past few years, hormones have been wanting to be the master of my emotions and have often put chains around me to keep me away from people and my DMP.
I am tired of being controlled and emotions will not be my master. I declare that today is an opportunity for me to become more of the woman I was created to be. I am the master of my emotions. When I am feeling fear, unworthiness, guilt, anger and/or hurt feelings, I will use those feelings to fuel energy, concentration, and focus to achieve my DMP.
I have been practicing daily, being the master of my emotions this past week. I am excited to share that my emotions obey me most of the time. I am on a process of learning and maturing and I am thankful for the opportunity to master my emotions.
As I was reading Lesson 22, I was reminded of God’s goodness in my past. I had struggled with a disease called fibromyalgia. For those of you who do not know, people with fibromyalgia have muscle pain every day, are constantly tired and feel hopeless. I had blamed it on my stressful circumstance at the time (I am sure that it added to it) but the real issue was deep within me. Haanel says that we always find the cause in the world within. This is true in my case with fibromyalgia. I had struggled much with thoughts of unworthiness, self-hate, and low self-confidence and these were the thoughts and feelings that vibrated throughout my body for a very long time. My symptoms were just manifestations of my core thoughts.
I am grateful to God that through a friend of mine, I got in touch with an organization who taught me that my core beliefs were the cause of the disease. I chose to repent (change my thinking) of those unhealthy thoughts and began to choose to believe what my Creator says about me. My heavenly Father says I am of great worth, I am loved by my Him and He delights in me. The reprogramming of my mind took about 2-years and my body aligned with those thoughts. As of today, I am 10 years free of fibromyalgia. My Creator wants me in perfect health and I agree with Him.
“We shall always find the cause in the ‘world within’; by changing the cause, we change the effect. “
“Make the art and act of recognition of miracles a habit.”
This is an awesome truth and I would love to live by it. I have known to be an expert theorist and really believe that it is good to make the recognition of miracles a habit but application is the point. When theory comes alive and it is used that is when lives are impacted.
I have also been known to be a perfectionist, not that I am perfect in all things but I get discouraged, often want to quit and sometimes not even want to start if I don’t think I can do it “perfect”, not that I have ever done things “perfect”. This is my past but my present and future are different.
I have decided that I will continue playing. Yes, I will stumble but that’s ok. I will repose and be silent and focus on the ideal. I will find the treasure in me and others because we are all nature’s greatest miracle.
This week was encouraging. Up to this point in my MKE journey, I felt left out. I read and heard about other people’s breakthroughs but I felt as though my journey was on a plateau. Many times during the webinars, I would hear, “are you making the connections” and I would answer in my head, “not really”. Well, all of a sudden, I was making connections, whether I was at a business meeting, things reading social media, or whatever I was doing, things in my brain were connecting like a web. I didn’t want to get too excited (I think this is part of being a white), “just in case” but, as I was driving today a thought came to my mind. I had been toiling the soil, planting seeds, pulling out the weeds, watering and putting nutrients into the soil for months. I was discouraged because I didn’t see anything coming out of the ground even though I felt I was working hard. Day after day there was nothing to show for my efforts. But, with the help of the webinars and the mastermind alliance I persisted. Today, I see that I am a little more confident, I like myself a little more, I started dreaming again, I am kinder to myself and I am more hopeful. The little buds and leaves are still delicate and so I continue to protect, nurture and celebrate with enthusiasm the small steps I have made thus far. I am grateful!
As I was reading scroll V of the Greatest Salesman, I was reminded that living in the past and the future does not do anyone any good. As I sit and think about the things I tend to think about I realized that the majority of my thinking is about the failures, regrets, and disappointments of the past and the fears of what might be. They are not helpful.
“Yesterday is buried forever and I will think of it no more.”
“Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday and I will think of it no more.”
Today, I do not think about yesterday or tomorrow because I choose to think of today as another opportunity for me to become the woman I know I can be.
I can’t believe it’s already week 18. I feel like I just started MKE. Grateful and also sad.
This week I was grateful for the 5 things (gratitude, kindness, the sit, exercise and reliving the good moments) we NEED to do every day. It’s become the 5 things I WANT to do every day. I find that as I give thanks, I am becoming more thankful. I actually could feel the lightness, peace, and freedom each time I chose to give thanks. I can imagine my brain rewiring and firing as I do this. I am going to continue to grow in this area, What would the person I intend to become do next? One of the things is to continue to give thanks.
Do I give myself permission to be happy? This is a good question.
About a year ago, I started seeing a counselor about twice a month for a mental and emotional check-up. This past week she said something to me that made me think. She said that I don’t have much self-compassion. I have compassion for a lot of people but not for myself. It’s true that for most of my life I have been busy taking care of others and I have put pressure on myself to do it well and it has given me much identity and purpose. I did not think too much about what makes me happy, never mind self-care or self-compassion. I have been feeling a bit burnt out lately and wondered why. I think I know part of the reason why I feel so tired. I was basing my identity on taking care of others and worse yet what people thought of me. Yikes! This part of my identity was built on sand and not on the rock. I have decided that I am giving myself permission to be happy. I am basing my identity on what God thinks about me. He says that I have great value because I am His child and it is not based on what I do for others or for Him. I decided that I am going to give myself much compassion as I give to others. I give myself permission to be happy.
“Vain attempts to imitate others no longer will I make. Instead, I will place my uniqueness on display in the market place. I will proclaim it, yea, I will sell it. I will begin now to accent my differences: hide my similarities.” (Og Mandino)
I was reminded this week while reading scroll IV that many times, I do not value who I am and the unique person God made me to be. I often value who others are and their uniqueness and wallow in self-pity that I am not like them, as if I was lacking because they are more. I know that there are times when we need to learn from others and celebrate them but I see that more often than not I have tried more to imitate others rather than trusting and accepting the unique and valuable person that I am. I have been accentuating similarities rather than embracing the differences. Why? Probably because I wanted peace and acceptance. But, what does other’s acceptance of me really mean if I do not accept me? There is no peace and acceptance in that.
“Vain attempts to imitate others no longer will I make.” I choose to believe that I am unique and valuable. I love and accept me. Even as I write this sentence, I feel more freedom, peace, and joy. I choose to look for things that make me different from others and celebrate them. I was made in love and with a unique purpose that no one can fulfill except me. How wonderful it is to know that I am one of a kind and I can serve this world for good in my own unique and special way.